Our last session was pretty intense and some new buttons were pressed quite hard. It sent me into a very vulnerable state. He was able to guide my mindset into some undiscovered territory, which took me by surprise.
Afterwards in the "glow" we talked about what happened. We discussed what he did and how I reacted so that it might be explored again later. I felt safe and secure enough to just talk. Even the next night when I needed to discuss it more it didn't feel awkward. I was grateful that we have established a good foundation.
Communication is so important.
When Aaron and I were first dating, we spent a great length of time figuring out what "worked" Dd wise for each other. We experimented, and still do to a degree of which punishments were the most effective for both of us. We talked about positions and implements, idealistic rules and "perfect world" scenarios. It's a process that is always developing into something new and exciting.
He began letting me know right away when he felt like he needed to beat me, and in fairness I did the same. It helped us both learn each other's pattern and needs. Today it's not uncommon for me to throw up my hands about a task and say, "You know what? I just need to be BEAT" (and also not uncommon for him to agree wholeheartedly).
I don't necessarily think asking for a session is a bad thing. Sure, if he was only relying on me asking that would be a different story entirely. It does tweak the feeling of a session a bit, feels a little less like "true" discipline at first. But that's easily remedied with the right verbiage and actions from him. In those situations it might have been me asking but I have zero control over any other part of it.
Before I'm accused of being Preachy McGee about communication- I do have a HUGE roadblock about communicating in just about every other aspect of my life. It may shock you, as I usually have lots to say but I have a hard time speaking my mind on things that may upset the other person.
So Aaron may be totally in the dark about how I really feel about the new shirt he purchased this weekend (Until now...Hi Honey!), but by golly he'll know where I stand when it comes to my backside.
Very cute.
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