The C word

Our last session was pretty intense and some new buttons were pressed quite hard.  It sent me into a very vulnerable state.  He was able to guide my mindset into some undiscovered territory, which took me by surprise.  

Afterwards in the "glow" we talked about what happened. We discussed what he did and how I reacted so that it might be explored again later.  I felt safe and secure enough to just talk.  Even the next night when I needed to discuss it more it didn't feel awkward.  I was grateful that we have established a good foundation.

Communication is so important.   

When Aaron and I were first dating, we spent a great length of time figuring out what "worked" Dd wise for each other.  We experimented, and still do to a degree of which punishments were the most effective for both of us. We talked about positions and implements, idealistic rules and "perfect world" scenarios.  It's a process that is always developing into something new and exciting.

He began letting me know right away when he felt like he needed to beat me, and in fairness I did the same.  It helped us both learn each other's pattern and needs.  Today it's not uncommon for me to throw up my hands about a task and say, "You know what? I just need to be BEAT" (and also not uncommon for him to agree wholeheartedly).

I don't necessarily think asking for a session is a bad thing.  Sure, if he was only relying on me asking that would be a different story entirely.  It does tweak the feeling of a session a bit, feels a little less like "true" discipline at first. But that's easily remedied with the right verbiage and actions from him.  In those situations it might have been me asking but I have zero control over any other part of it.  

Before I'm accused of being Preachy McGee about communication- I do have a HUGE roadblock about communicating in just about every other aspect of my life.  It may shock you, as I usually have lots to say but I have a hard time speaking my mind on things that may upset the other person.

So Aaron may be totally in the dark about how I really feel about the new shirt he purchased this weekend  (Until now...Hi Honey!), but by golly he'll know where I stand when it comes to my backside.

Wax on, Wax Off

This Friday, Aaron surprised me by coming home early, stealing the baby and handing me a wad of cash.

"Go get girlie" he demanded.

He's so mean.  See what I put up with?

Sadly, since the addition to our family, the opportunities to have my feet pedicured and such have been far and few between.  

I was surprised and excited- but not for what you'd think.  What I was really looking forward to was the eyebrow waxing.

Mmmhmm.  Delightful.  I get giddy thinking about it.  

I admit that I am a bit of an odd bird, but surely I'm not alone in thinking that a session with the eyebrow lady is a really a way to get a little sub pleasure in a world surrounded by vanillas. 

Anyone who has had anything waxed has got to believe me that it takes some real sub practice to be able to relax during such delicious semi-torturous activities.  

Laying there waiting for her to come in the room, I actually had to remind myself to try not to smile after she ripped off the cotton strips- I think it frightens her.  

What worries me most about myself is the disappointment I felt when she didn't pull out the tweezers.