It's a phrase my sister and I picked up from my grandmother. She would always begin her phone conversation with it.
"Oh nothing, just sitting here, you?"
What I wanted to tell her was that I was busy putting back the implements Aaron had used into the dresser from the night before. I wanted to tell her that we had had a great connecting session- one that was much needed after a long week of the entire family being ill. I wanted to say how silly I feel that I still get butterflies picking up certain items and placing them back in the bag.
I wanted to tell her how Aaron and I laughed together afterwards in that glow.
I wanted to tell her that I had spent the day in a post session haze- floating and calm and warm and loved.
But I kept my mouth shut.
My sister and I have always been close. Twins have a strange bond that is hard to put into words. It frustrates me that I can't share something that is in my day-to-day life. So much of who I am I have to hide from her, and the rest of my family. They know bits and pieces that raise eyebrows for sure.
It's almost like I'm trying to hide something that I'm ashamed of. Nothing could be futher from the truth. I have never felt more like myself.
I know the details of what goes on behind the closed doors shouldn't be shouted from the rooftops, but this journey is so much more than just kink. It's finding my core, exploring my wiring and the peace knowing I fit just right into the little world Aaron and I have created together.
It makes me want to declare to everyone just how awesome it can be for them as well.
Like a Dd sales bunny of sorts. A poster child of just how good life can be when you embrace what we have.
For now the best choice it to show how well this is all going through my actions instead of a megaphone.
But I'd really like to be just out there with it.
